I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
