Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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