There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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