That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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