hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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