Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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