My Higher Power is John Stamos
handjob tips. give me some.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize