I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
