Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
