I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
