i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
