Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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