CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
