Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
