I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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