dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
