you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
