i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
