Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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