I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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