is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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