I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
