It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize
