Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
