Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Me too!
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
The air taste purple.
Randomize
