The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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