Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize