the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
