thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize