she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
