everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
