There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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