Whats the glycemic index on semen?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
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