Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
