why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
