I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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