it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The Olympian is in my bed
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
