people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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