Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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