How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
