Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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