went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
