Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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