and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
