she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm sobbing to NWA
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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