Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize