i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
