So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
