He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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