She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
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