I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
