HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
