Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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