Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
