didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
