I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
