Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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