it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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