I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
