dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize