So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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