can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
