so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
