Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
