I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just gargled with NyQuil
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
